There's no other way to start this blog than to restate the title: boys suck. When you've got one, they're great, but when they leave, it sucks. It hurts. You feel sick. You feel thrown away and worthless. But then as soon as you start to feel better about yourself and you feel like you DON'T NEED NO MAN, another one comes into your life and treats you well (for a minute) and makes you feel special (along with fifteen other girls) and makes you happy (only because you missed having a boy around). So that brings up one question. What are boyfriends really worth? Recently, a boy who will remain nameless has come into my life. I'm sure it's a risk even posting this stupid thing because there's not even anything to talk about yet. And of course, this next couple weeks are some of the most stressful this year, so I got to thinking... What are the pros and cons of being in a relationship, especially while in college? So, here they are:
(Note: I am not the type of person to "date around" or look for "short-term relationships." I don't want to waste my precious time and effort on someone that I don't seriously see myself being with for the rest of my life. If I don't see that happening, I'll move on. I believe dating is for the purpose of finding your soulmate, not just a social thing that "people do in college." Therefore, I analyze.)
(Note: I am not the type of person to "date around" or look for "short-term relationships." I don't want to waste my precious time and effort on someone that I don't seriously see myself being with for the rest of my life. If I don't see that happening, I'll move on. I believe dating is for the purpose of finding your soulmate, not just a social thing that "people do in college." Therefore, I analyze.)
PROS: Receiving and giving attention from someone that's more than a friend Getting spoiled and having someone else to spoil, just because Never being lonely Always having someone to talk to that actually cares and wants to listen Having a cuddle buddy (that's not weird or awkward) Having someone to support you through times of struggle Making memories with someone who can remember them with you 80 years down the road Having someone there who actually wants to kiss you (always a plus) You have someone you trust You never have to be a third wheel You have someone you can just have mindless conversations with all day (if you like that sort of thing) You always have a plus one! More birthday presents, right? SO many cute couple selfies! You've got someone to bring to family functions so your aunts can stop pestering you about being single You have someone to look good for, other than yourself | CONS: Relationships take a lot of time, something that a college student lacks They also require effort, something I seem to have a hard time giving out Jealousy always plays a role in any relationship, and who has time for that? (Don't play; you get jealous) There always seems to be something to argue about Modern communication leads to misunderstandings more than it should Knowing that you're either going to marry this person or eventually break up with them, and that's like the scariest thing ever It's sometimes hard to be friends with a guy first, before you jump right to the relationship thing Depending on the ages of you and your significant other, and your current relationship status, you could have to deal with awkward topics like meeting the family, moving in, talking about the FUTURE A relationship is a major distraction, especially when you have organic chemistry exams to study for and a part-time job, like I do Your reputation can change before and after this relationship |
Well dang. I was hoping that these lists would be a little more skewed, and one side would clearly be more helpful. But they're not. Maybe that's a sign that having a relationship or not can really depend on the person you're with (or without). Here are some of my personal reasons to maybe try out a relationship with a certain person:
Sincerely,
T
- He makes me laugh. I can't stand being with someone whose jokes aren't funny or someone who tries really hard. I don't like having sore cheeks from fake-laughing all day.
- He makes me genuinely happy. I want to be with someone whose sole presence can turn my day around and put me in a better mood.
- He's cute! Looks aren't everything, obviously, but they help!
- He makes me feel safe. I want someone who holds my hand and touches the small of my back when we cross the street, someone who I know will take care of jerks I might run across, someone who can hold me and make me feel like it's all going to be okay.
- He treats me like a princess. Over my last few relationships, I've learned that I, and every other girl on this planet, is worth too much to settle. By settling, I don't mean that every girl deserves a perfect guy, because those don't exist. Every guy has flaws, and these flaws are what make people individuals. I mean that no girl should have to deal with negative personality characteristics that annoy her on a daily basis. Just for some examples, the last few guys I talked to were immature, afraid of commitment, unfunny, and not dedicated or driven at all. These things aren't just little flaws; these are kind of serious. The guy you're with should worship the ground you walk on (not literally), and you should never feel like you're in competition with someone else.
- The guy won't even give you the time of day. Ladies, THIS IS A SIGN. If he doesn't text back for days or doesn't return your calls, he's not interested! Don't sit and wait around for someone who isn't coming back around!
- He can't carry a conversation. If his only responses are "lol," "what's up," "cool," or "haha yep," then I cannot stay interested. If he's boring, I'm out.
- He doesn't give you any particular reason to want to be with him. If you're not completely excited to see him, then you're not excited about him in general.
- He treats you like dirt. He makes fun of you in front of his friends, he doesn't show you off or introduce you to anyone, he isn't polite or respectful, he only wants sex, he doesn't ever want to do anything but "cuddle," he never takes you out in public, etc. These are signs that he's not proud of you. He may even have some other girl that can't know about you...
- One of the most important things to me: He doesn't give you butterflies. I'm a science nerd, so I appreciate chemical responses and scientific proof that things are happening. Being with that certain guy increases your adrenaline levels. Your heart beats faster, your hands get shaky, and your mouth dries up. As disgusting as that sounds, this is your body's natural response to stress. Being with a guy isn't stressful, per se, but your body does have the same reaction. Your increased blood flow sends blood to your lungs and muscles, preparing for your fight-or-flight response, and less of your blood is getting to your stomach. This, along with hormonal changes, is what causes those "butterflies." Anyways, you might not know if you like this guy or not, BUT SCIENCE DOES. I take butterflies, or lack thereof, as a tell-tale sign of whether or not this guy is special.
Sincerely,
T